There are days when I feel empowered and motivated and days when I feel utterly lost. I don’t know if the gloomy weather is a factor in this, but today, I feel so off. I feel restless and helpless.
The day started off late, around 11am. From 1-5pm, I attended a training at church. Many fruitful conversations came from it and I loved being able to be in fellowship with all our college and young adult leaders. But as soon as the meeting ended, an uncomfortable feeling started to creep in the depth of my belly and gradually made it’s way up to my heart. I came home feeling confused. Anxious. I had no idea where these feelings came from and I certainly didn’t know why it was affecting me now.
Days like today, I am tempted to sulk in these (all too familiar) anxious feelings. But, I know that by doing so, I negate the fact that God is my peace; his rod and his staff comfort me (Psalm 23:4). How powerful it is that I serve a God that is the stronghold of my life (Psalm 27:1).
I write this as a self-reminder that I don’t battle through this life on my own. That anxiety, self-doubt, the judgment of others, don’t have control over my life. The power of his love transcends over everything- including the dirty, broken pieces in me and around me. I am comforted that I am walking in his presence now. I’m thankful that I am made whole by His grace.
So when the storm comes again, I hope that I would seek what is greater than myself and place my emotional security in the steadfastness of his steady, everlasting love.
I am not forgotten.
I am not less than.
I am redeemed by His grace.
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23